King of the...

In the spirt of March Madness I decided it was about time for me to truly express myself. I once thought I was strong enough to make my own decisions outside of the influences of mass media, but local hero and Boston College phenom just seems to inspire me. Between his game changing abilities, on court antics, but most of all, his body art, I felt compelled to make a change. Having failed in my latest attempt to impress/surprise my GF (the blotched crop circle/manscaping experiment) I knew that this time I had to go over the top...or all the way down. With my first paycheck in the bank, I took a trip downtown to get some ink done. After faiting twice, puking on Adam's pink cashmire sweater that I borrowed, and wetting myself out of fear, I was finally ready to impress the lady friend.

Later that night, as I retired for the evening with the misses, I took a different approach towards sexy time. Bypassing french kissing, second base and heavy petting, I went straight to oral pleasures. After 2 hours of eating box with my shirt off and denying any favors in return, I emerged from my hunny pot and flexed my right bicep exposing my freshly decorated arm, "King of Cunnilingus!" Though I may not be going toe to toe with JJ, I can happily say that I have been eating 3 square meals of box daily.