my deflowering

I will keep this anonymous, incase the young lady/man is reading this right now...hehe...it was a brisk autum fall when i first laid eyes on this individual, to this day i am not sure if it was the frigiid wind that swept up my spine or the stiff urges that began sprouting from my nether regions. i knew at once i must have her. i began my pursuit slowly, like most romantics of our times; i always remained 3/5 of a block behind her, gazed longingly at her phototrail albums, and collected each stand of golden hair that strayed from the main that were her flowing locks. After developing shin splints from the extensive walking in stilettos, level 8 carpal tunnel syndrom from excessive phototrailing, and a 5 1/4 hair doll, I took the remaining bah mitzvah money saved away and purchased the services of a very thurough transvestite prostitute. Mother was dissappointed.

Funny thing happened...

It was three days ago I believe, perhaps four, but I woke up on Adam's bed, completely naked and fully erect, nothing out of the ordinary. As I laid there, staring at the ceiling in a drunken stupor, I noticed an odd intricacy on my already peculiar member. On my left, no right testicle, I noticed a yellow miscoloration. In dismay I sprinted to the bathroom to get a better look and a second opinion from Brian. Bri said I had gangreen!!! I felt like an ignorant British sailor who had spent the pinacle of his life gnawing on hard tack and making gentle love to cabin boys, the same cabin boys that oddly haunt my dreams. Long of the short of it, it ends up that the yellow miscoloration was purely a mustard stain, dijon mustard. Thanks to Rochelle, the ever sober ying to my raging yang and her developed tastebuds, we were able to avoid the travesty that nearly was my testicles.

Warm Regards,
Gotty